Essence of Asia

That drama of my life follows me everywhere. So today afternoon was enjoying some quite time (it’s another public holiday!) in the digs. Shortly, the house mates started springing to life. Chatted with the African chic – she really is turning out to be quite fun. Sort of. Then watched the Asian chic get up and stagger with eyes half closed to the bathroom (she had a late night yesterday).
Shortly, the shower was on and the smell of soap filled the room. Oh, let me tell you where my bathroom is (she and I share). It’s just off my bedroom, the door can be seen from the sitting room, and the back wall is almost adjacent with the kitchen. This is very important to remember,
Suddenly, the smell of soap disappeared and the air was filled with – u guessed it, the essence of the nastiest SHIT I have ever smelt in my life!! Worse than road kill, worse than that guy who hasn’t showered for weeks, worse than the stink of a factory full of rotten eggs. This was some serious atomic shit, which could have been used to create a weapon of mass destruction against our dear George Bush – and would probably cause the annihilation of the world. Never have I been so afraid to light a cigarette, in case I bomb the place.
And there was no escape. This scent was seeping into the various rooms of the house, taking it over – so much that when I crossed into my room, with it’s open window, I was puzzled as to whether to open or close it. I might trap the smell in there if it is closed, or let more in if I let it open.
Anyhoo, the whole Jehovah’s Witness thing is done. It was a strange service, they have some intense beliefs, actually I didn’t mind it too much, but when I told my mum, the shrieking could be heard across the ocean – and the declaration that I should just find a Catholic Church (please note: I’m not catholic!) were still ringing in my ears.
Will let you know when I can “breathe again”.

This whole religion thing

So, as it turns out, I am actually curious about my higher being and whether connecting with my higher being will help me connect with my life in any particular way.
I decided a few weeks back to just go with my housemate to her church, and see how I felt and how the service would go. I was expecting to meet new people, and to have great experiences. That was one of the most adventurous and slightly traumatic days I have had hear, so much so that I can still remember it in vived detail.
So, dressed up smart casual, looked stunning I must say, and rode the bus (without air conditioning in 30 degree heat) to the church and somehow managed to survive without looking drenched with "pespiration" (women dont sweat!)
All around me were Nigerian men, I don't mean one man, I mean like 20 men, all ready for some good ol' praise n worship. So went into the church, did the whole fellowship thing, started thinking about funerals and got a bit emotional, so went out for some fresh air.
Was taken back in by this really nice chick, and what a shock I received. I walked into a full on chanting session, with people holding their hands and screaming at eachother in "prayer". This random chic grabbed my hands and started shreiking at me, and I just stood there staring in total shock.
The service ended soon after, and I was put into the choir (can't sing to save my life - i tried to tell them.) and was given an audience with the priest. Apparently to discuss why i left the service mid way.
As I told him I had lots of funerals last year, and was still slightly emotional, He proceeded to tell me to wash the bad spirits out of my soul. He asked me who died and I told him my stepfather. He then said that I have had a bad childhood. He then asked me if i ever had nightmares. I said of course (don't we all at some point). At this point, he reached into a jar of oil, proceeded to smear it on my head and considered me annointed, reminding me that I am being led by the devil and should flush everything out.
I bolted out of there, I mean what the hell?? needless to say, since then, I have not been anywhere near a church.
Well until tomorrow that is. Met this really great group of people who speak English (rare thing here) and they are coming to pick me up to go to a Jehovah's Witness meeting tomorrow. Life is full of experiences, so will try this one out, and let you know how it went and if I bit off more than I can chew.

Today's rude awakening

Last night I was having the most amazing dream about being the next American Idol and marrying Ryan Seacrest (who I believe sort of looks like Woody Woodpecker!, observe uploaded pictures), and not having to sleep with the man and just spending his money. Then for some cruel reason, my body jolted itself awake and I looked at the clock only to find that I had overslept and had like 10 minutes to make myself all bootilicious for class (please note, I look fab already but sometimes a little effort is needed when your hair looks like the hairy back of Osama Bin Laden). So, I threw on a head wrap, massive sunglasses (which I was hoping would somehow help mask my identity and the red eye I got from stabbing myself with eye pencil in an attempt at this beauty thing) and a top and pants. Managed to throw in an argument with my housemate, who had the audacity to tell me to go to class, get the notes and come home and teach her because she didn’t feel like getting out of bed. Raced out of my air conditioned room into 30 degree heat and started sweating like those naked chickens dripping oil in Kenchic on the rotisserie.
Practically ran to class in my not so flat shoes over sharp rocks (bad idea!), only to find out that my lecturer has chronic food poisoning from his latest trip to Pakistan and isn’t coming to class after all. Please tell me if it’s unreasonable to send me an SMS perhaps, when his ass is firmly planted on the toilet seat and he is hurling into a bucket. Somehow I don’t think this would have been too hard.
So am now back home, contemplating starting an assignment on finance, which by the way sounds a bit like this as I say something strange about the shareholders investment being a seed and him waiting for it to grow into a tree. I sincerely hope the man has a sense of humour!

Hello Hello

Hey,
My name is Val and welcome to my blog. I have so much to share with the world, and I absolutely needed a place to release everything - so here it is. About me, I am one of the most outrageous people you will come across, One of because i have a crazy band of friends who help keep the madness alive.
I dont look strange, actually, I look very normal from the outside, but wierd things keep happening to me - things that sometimes I cant explain, but they tend to happen all the same, and my goal is to share these wierd happenings and see if its just me, or if the world is set out to make me go crazy.
so, just brace yourself for the juciest info you will find anywhere!!